Love is so important because it nourishes our soul, brings joy, and gives meaning to our lives. It connects us deeply with others, fosters empathy, and promotes emotional well-being. Love transcends boundaries, heals wounds, and inspires us to become better versions of ourselves.
Here, I am talking about Romantic Love and Addiction .
Beyond drugs, people can become addicted to chaos, danger, a scarcity mindset, fear, control freak, judgment, criticism , and the intense emotions of love.
Childhood trauma, or any traumatic situation in life that had not been taken care of, particularly situations where the person is frequently exposed to the sympathetic nervous system's stress response, can contribute to these addictive patterns.
Psychologically, addiction often serves as a coping mechanism, providing temporary relief or distraction from underlying emotional pain or distress. For individuals who have experienced childhood trauma, addiction may offer a means of escaping or numbing overwhelming feelings of fear, anxiety, or powerlessness.
WHAT IS LOVE ADDICTION? HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?
" I am writing this article not just from my professional experience with clients, but also from my own journey through the challenges of love addiction."
"When we measure the stress that Holmes and Rahe associated with job stress, it pales in comparison to the grief of losing a loved one or experiencing separation from romantic relationship.
According to a 2021 study, certain stages of romantic love can induce an experience resembling withdrawal, akin to what a person with substance abuse issues feels when deprived of their drug.
Though there is no clinical diagnosis, many people exhibit signs such as intrusive thoughts, separation anxiety, and in some cases, serial monogamy. They may find they no longer derive enjoyment from other activities.
Research from 2016 shows that romantic love activates the reward system, engaging regions associated with substance use disorders, including craving and withdrawal symptoms.
Absence of love can lead to symptoms similar to anxiety, trouble sleeping, changes in appetite, low mood, feelings of depression, and disinterest in previously enjoyed activities.
Attachment styles can also influence these experiences, with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and childhood trauma or any other trauma exacerbating symptoms.
Anxiously attached individuals, often stemming from inconsistent attention from caregivers, may experience strong cravings for intimacy, over-dependency, frequent relationship insecurity, and fear of abandonment.
How to cope with withdrawal from love addiction:
Journaling and positive affirmations :
Be grateful for the intense emotions experienced and remember that love conquers everything.
2. Self-love:
Focus on self-growth and self-love. Incorporate activities like listening to music, exercising, and engaging in social interactions
3. Soothing the nervous system:
- Practice conscious breathing techniques, emphasizing long exhalations. This helps activate the body's relaxation response, calming the nervous system and reducing stress levels. Deep, slow breaths signal to the brain that it's safe to relax, promoting a sense of calmness and inner peace.
4. Mindfulness practices:
- Engage in mindfulness meditation to cultivate present-moment awareness and non-judgmental acceptance of one's thoughts and feelings. Techniques such as body scans, mindful breathing, and loving-kindness meditation can help individuals become more attuned to their inner experiences and develop a healthier relationship with their emotions.
5. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT):
- CBT focuses on identifying and challenging negative thought patterns and beliefs that contribute to love addiction. By recognizing and reframing distorted thinking, individuals can develop more adaptive coping strategies and improve their emotional regulation skills.
- DBT combines elements of CBT with mindfulness-based practices, emphasizing the importance of both acceptance and change. It teaches individuals how to tolerate distress, regulate emotions, and cultivate interpersonal effectiveness, providing practical tools for managing love addiction and building healthier relationships.
6.. Exercise:
- Engaging in regular physical activity releases endorphins, neurotransmitters that act as natural mood lifters. Exercise also reduces levels of stress hormones like cortisol and promotes the production of serotonin, which can improve mood and overall well-being. Whether it's going for a run, practicing yoga, or lifting weights, finding enjoyable forms of exercise can help individuals manage cravings and boost their self-esteem.
7. Music:
- Listening to music can have a profound impact on mood and emotions. Upbeat tunes can energize and uplift, while slower, soothing melodies can promote relaxation and stress relief. Music can also serve as a form of self-expression and emotional release, allowing individuals to connect with their feelings and find comfort in times of distress. Creating personalized playlists or exploring different genres can provide a source of solace and inspiration during the recovery process.
In summary, experiencing intense romantic love is not harmful; the world needs more love and kindness , starting with ourselves.
However, attachment and dependency shouldn't compromise our own wellbeing. Keep loving, but Prioritize Self-Care and Boundaries.
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